Batman: Arkham Asylum/dialogue transcript

Transcript for certain dialogues from the game Batman: Arkham Asylum.

Intro[]

The scene opens up to a dark, stormy night. Dark clouds pass, and the Bat Signal is seen illuminated. A statue of the Grim Reaper slowly rises as the view changes to a busy street. A radio transmission from a nearby police car is heard.

Radio: All units to Gotham City Hall. The Joker has been apprehended. Batman is now en route to Arkham Island.

Joker: Stand back, fool, I've got a bomb... Oh, right. Heh, heh.

Arkham East[]

Arkham Guard: Sorry, sir, but you can't come in this way. It's locked down.

Batman: Where does the door lead?

Arkham Guard: It led to the old pump station. Warden Sharp had it closed down soon after he arrived. Said it was a security risk.

Louie Green: Batman, You got out. What's happening back there? We got directed over here and then the radios died. They keep playing this damned tune over and over.

Batman: Joker's in control of the island. He's responsible for sending you over here.

Louie Green: How did he get out? I mean, you're here and...

Batman: An Arkham guard named Frank Boles betrayed you all. He broke out Joker, who killed him when he was no longer needed.

Louie Green: Some loyalty(!) Do you need any help?

Batman: No. You and your men are safer here. I'll find you if I need anything.

Batman: Oracle, disable the Batmobile's countermeasure system.

Oracle: I saw the alert, what's wrong? Where are you?

Batman: I'm outside the Arkham Mansion. Harley Quinn probably triggered the alarm. If she's got Gordon with her, he could get hurt.

Oracle: OK, done. The Batmobile is still parked up outside the Intensive Treatment building in Arkham North. I've sent you the schematics for the entire island. I've marked key locations like your car.

Batman: Thanks, Oracle.

Arkham Guard: I don't get it. This place is supposed to be secure.

Batman: Unfortunately, some of the patients will always try and escape. I'll stop them.

Arkham Guard: It's dangerous down there, Batman. We've got multiple Blackgaters. They've got a hold of firearms, probably from the guard armory.

Batman: Thanks for the concern, officer, but it will take more than guns to stop me.

Arkham Guard: We had to pull back, out of the tunnel. There are guards still in there, we need to get back in there.

Batman: I'll take care of this.

Arkham Guard: Thanks. Let me know if you need backup.

Arkham North[]

Batman: There's a supply of Explosive Gel in the trunk of the Batmobile. Harley trashed the car. Looks like there was a scuffle.

Batman: I need to search the area around the Batmobile. There could be a clue as to where she took Gordon.

Batman: Strange, this is Gordon's pipe. Barbara gave it to him. There's no way he could leave it...... Wild Country. Gordon's favourite tobacco. Gordon's smarter than he looks. Left me a trail to follow. Oracle. I found a pipe. It has your father's initials carved on it.

Oracle: It was a birthday gift i gave him last year. There's no way he'd leave it.

Batman: Exactly. He's left me a trail to follow. He's alive, Barbara.

Batman: The security doors are locked. I'm going to have to find another way around and get back on Gordon's trail.

Batman: The wall ahead is weak enough for my Explosive Gel to blow through and open up a new path.

Arkham West[]

Arkham Guard: Batman, what's going on? The crazies are moving towards the Medical Facility. What's Joker doing?

Batman: He's trying to take over the island piece by piece. It looks like Medical is his next target. Has anyone got out of the building?

Arkham Guard: I saw a doctor try and get out... He was torn apart...thrown in the water. He never stood a chance.

Batman: You wait here. I'll be back.

Secure Transit[]

Alert in Intensive Treatment. Category 9 patient in transit. Pacification system active. Shoot to kill permissions granted.
You heard the lady. We've got another psycho on the way.
Can you smell the excitement in the air? No? Must have been one of the guards, then. Croc ol' boy, is that you?
Get ready.
Keep your weapons trained on it at all times.
He looks angry.
That thing looks pissed.
What's it doing?
I've got your scent, Batman. I will hunt you down. A toy collar won't stop me from killing you, Batman. I'll rip you apart. Eat your bones.
That reminds me. I really need to get me some new shoes.
OK, move up.
Hold tight.

Intensive Treatment Lobby[]

Joker: Are they ready? Have you planted the explosives yet?
Blackgate Prisoner: Done.
Blackgate Prisoner: Razor's just finishing his off now.
Joker: Good, Let's test 'em out!
Razor: No! No, I'm still up here! [The gargoyle explodes] Ahhhhhhh!
Joker: Oops. HAHAHAHA!.

Cell Block Transfer[]

Joker: It's my favourite show. I'm Warden Idiot, You'll Never Escape'.
Blackgate Prisoner: Joker, Joker, Joker!
Arkham Guard: Shut up!
Blackgate Prisoner: How ya doin', boss?
Arkham Guard: I said SHUT IT!
Joker: I'm telling you, the state of the wiring in these federal facilities is shocking. My boys over there could have been hurt in that...unfortunate fire.
Stephen Kellerman: Just gotta check your prisoner, Officer Boles.
Frank Boles: Whatever, just be quick.
Stephen Kellerman: Only following procedure. Patient seems to be in satisfactory condition. Looks like he suffered minor lacerations, probably in the last 2 hours. There seems to be--
Joker: BOO! HAHAHAHAHA! Need to take my temperature? I'd be happy to drop my pants.
Stephen Kellerman: He's all yours. Get him out of here.
Arkham Guard: He's good. Get the door open.

(When Fear Gas inhaled)[]

Did anyone catch the game last night?
He don't look so big and scary now, does he, Mr. J?
You have to listen to me! It's a mistake. I didn't do it!
Can I keep him, sweetie? Please, please, please! I'll feed him and walk him. I promise.
Just got to check your prisoner, dear.
Whatever, just be quick. He's not looking to good.
No, he's not. We should feel sorry for him. He never fully got over his parents' death. It left him quite insane. What is going on inside your head, Wayne? Bah, he's gone. Just a twisted shell of a man.
CUT ME FREE!!!
He's all yours, Joker.
Oh goody. C'mon, Mr. J. We're ready.
I've waited a long time for this, Bats. Let's start the party. With a BANG.
I think you need a little more...! Tell me, what demons do you have left to beat? Shall we see?
How are you doing this?! You've ingested enough toxins to drive 10 men insane. What are you?!
Why fight it, Batman? You're as crazy as the rest of us. You need us as much as we need you. And to prove it, I'll flood the catabombs with enough Fear Gas to break the minds of everyone in Gotham for a hundred years.

Decontamination Room[]

"Warning: Decontamination Room. Toxins detected. Warning: Decontamination Room. Area sealed."
"What is that stuff?!"
"Joker Toxin, listen. The room is full of poison gas. Anyone caught in there is dead."
"Are you going to get in there and help them, Batman?......... Oh God, oh God. Why are they making that noise?........ Oh my God, they're all dying in there!"
"This isn't a simple escape attempt. Joker's been planning this."
"Please help me!"
"You're going to be fine. Stay here."
"Batman's here! Just hold on a little longer, Steve!"
"I can't, I'm gonna fall."
"I'm going after the animal who did this."
"Batman! The extraction system! Steve was trying to get to the control panel at the end of the room."
"I can't believe he left me here. That son of a..."
"Hmm. There's the extraction control point. A well-aimed Batarang should power it up."
"Attention. Air purity is now at normal levels."
"Huhuhuhuhuhahahahahahaha!"
"Attention. Decontamination Room access is now permitted."
"WHOO!! Go Batman, you rock! Joker doesn't stand a chance."

Maintenance Access[]

"I want all the doctors rounded up. Search every inch of the Medical building. I mean it. Search every room, every office, and every trash can. If another doctor tries to run and get out of the building, then you won't. I'll just flood the rooms with happy gas and leave you to die. Hell, I may do that anyway, sounds fun."

Medical Foyer[]

Harley Quinn: "La la la la lu lu lu la! Hey! Scram, Bats! This is my me time."
Batman: "Where's Gordon?
Harley Quinn: Wouldn't you like to know?
Gordon: "I'm over here!"
Harley Quinn: Shut up!" (She throws an object at Gordon)
Gordon: "Agh! You crazy bitch."
Joker: "Harley!
Harley Quinn:''Ahhh!"
Joker: "What's he doing here?! It's too early."
Harley Quinn: "I'm sorry, puddin'. Don't be angry with me. Muha!"
Joker: "Oh, you little minx. I can never stay mad at you."
Harley Quinn: "Sorry, B-man, you'll have to find another way. Buh-bye now."
Batman: "No way past the security gate. Gotta find another route."

Sanatorium[]

"Get off of me."
"Shut it and get down there with the others. MOVE IT!!"
"OK, OK, I hear you. I'm going."
"Why does he need the doctors? I've got to save them."
Easy for him to say.
Batman's as good as dead.
Man, I wish he'd shut up sometimes... Damn, did he hear me?
Joker said he wanted the medical building under his control. We did it. No problem.
The medical building is ours. No one's takin' it from us.
I know. Guard Medical. Man, he goes on sometimes.
"I don't want to worry you boys, but I think he may be in there with you."
"I can't wait to get outta here. This hospital scares the crap out of me."
"This hospital gives me gas. And my farts smell like vinegar threw up on a fart."
"Paging Dr. Bat. Paging Dr. Bat. Is there a Dr. Bat in the room?"
"Man, I hate the smell of hospitals."
"Ain't hospitals supposed to be clean? This place stinks."
"The room's clear. You're safe now."
"I don't know what happened. One minute we were doing our evening rounds, and the next, armed thugs burst into the room and took us hostage."
"Did they have anyone with them?"
"They took someone into the elevator, I couldn't tell who it was."
"They obviously didn't want to be followed. The elevator seems to have been powered down. You're going to be OK here."
"We'll be fine".
"What about the others? We heard gunfire. They could be dead. We should go and help."
"Oh no, I forgot. Doctor Kellerman was in the Patient Observation Room and Dr. Chen went to Surgery."
"And Dr. Young went to X-Ray."
"OK, stay here. I'll find the other doctors."
"I'm here, Mike. Hold still, I'll get you free."
"You OK? We're safe, Batman saved us."
"Did you find them? Are they OK?"
"Yes, they're safe now."
"Batman, we've got another problem."
"I need to get back to the Mansion. All my research notes are there. We can't risk Joker getting his hands on them."
"It's not safe, Doctor, the island's a war zone. You won't stand a chance."
"It's my life's work. You really don't have the authority to--
"I'll get her there, Batman. If you ask me, it's about time for a little payback."
"I don't like it, but-- Who called the elevator?"
"Wasn't us. It's coming from the lower floor."
"Cash, take Dr. Young. Get her notes and then find somewhere safe to hole up. Everyone else, go to the Observation Room. Barricade yourselves in."
"The boss says he's in here somewhere, spread out."

Upper Corridor (Yellow line)[]

"So that's Doc Young."
"Yeah. She can operate on me anytime(!)"
"HE'S HERE!"

X-Ray Room[]

Dr. Young: Why are you doing this? I have done exactly as you've asked.

Inmate: Look at me, you think I care? Stop your whining and listen good. If anyone goes near you without Joker's express permission, then I've been ordered to take you out ASAP. Looks like you're our bargain chip. Gotta tell ya, the boss is all over this job. Planned like a military operation. Friends on the inside and out.

Dr. Young: I am quite aware that this job, as you call it, requires friends. What I want to know is why you chose me. Did Joker specify me? Why don't you let me talk to him? I'm sure we can settle this.

Inmate: Lady, if I have to tell you once more, I am going to hurt you. You understand?! Shut the hell up. If the boss wants to talk to you, he'll talk to you. Till then, keep that trap of yours zipped.

Dr. Young: Why are you doing this? Let me speak to Joker.

Inmate: Keep quiet. I'm not sure how much more of your yapping I can take.

After rescuing Dr. Young[]

Dr. Young: NO! PLEASE, NO!... What's going on? They were talking like they were in control. Is it true that Joker escaped?

Batman: Unfortunately, yes. But not for long.

Dr. Young: I'd been studying Joker's case for months when he broke out. The Warden was very specific he wanted Joker cured.

Batman: Bad publicity will effect his campaign for Mayor.

Dr. Young: That'll be the least of his... God, I almost forgot. They said they were moving through the facility, hunting down the other doctors.

Batman: Don't worry, Doctor. I rescued you first and now I'll search the other rooms. You wait here. It's dangerous out there.

Surgery[]

Dr. Chen: Batman.

Batman: Don't speak. You're safe now.

Dr. Chen: But... but it's a trap.

Batman: I know. just not for me.

Joker: It's true, you really are the world's greatest detective. How did you do that, Bats? Oh, what the hell. Get down there boys. See if he can detect getting punched in the face.

Joker: Don't get to full of yourself, Bats. I'm just softenin' ya up. Think of this as a preview to the main event. You'll see.

Dr. Chen: Please, get me out of this thing.

Dr. Chen: I'm sorry. I tried to tell you. I couldn't speak.

Batman: Relax, you're safe now. I can handle these low-life thugs.

During combat (Joker)[]

Come on!
What are you waiting for?! April Fools' day?! Get down there!

Patient Observation[]

"Who's the guard?"
"That mean son of a bitch is Cash."
"IT'S THE BAT!"
"Boss, it's done. The room is full of gas and Captain Hook is stuck in there. Thing is, Razor didn't get out in time. He's stuck too."
"HE'S HERE!"
"Go, Batman!"
"Cash, what happened?"
"There was an alarm in Medical. I heard someone shouting and found the Doc lying on the floor. When I went to help him, the room was flooded with gas. These doors locked down. We can't get out. Don't know how long we can last."
"I need some burp soda."
"How brave(!) Let's give Mr. Cash a great big hand. He could use one."
"You'll be laughin' your butt when I get outta here!"
"Lighten up, homes, I'm just messin' with ya."
"Can't wait to return the favor. You've got to help us. If you can clear the gas out of the room, the doc and me can get outta here."
"Surprise, surprise, Batman arrives just in the nick of time. Next time, Cash, I'll just shoot you and be done with it."

The Batcave/Caves[]

Batcave (Dr Young info)[]

Batman: On.

Oracle: Dr. Young was heading up a project. It was big, lots of external funding. Here are the last notes she filed. I can't make sense of it; what does it mean?

Batman: Looks like she was experimenting on Arkham patients. This new chemical only barely resembles the original Venom compound. There are a number of changes that appear to amplify the strength of the drug. Multiple references to a Titan formula. Even a small amount could trigger a Venom-like transformation in the host, eliminating the need for the storage tank Bane requires..... Hang on. These notes aren't complete. The formula is missing. That must be the secret Dr. Young is hiding. If Joker gets his hands on this, he will create an army of a thousand Banes.

Oracle: My God, is Joker crazy enough to do that? What am I saying? You've got to stop him.

Batman: I'm going after her. She was heading to the mansion with Cash. I'm going up top via the catabombs.

Arkham Mansion[]

Mansion Entrance Hall[]

"Well, look who it is."
"Yeah. Big Bad Batman. C'mon, tough guy, come and get us."
"Oh. Look at him, stuck out there. Ain't ya got a cat to rescue from a tree or something?"
"Yeah, that's right. Go on. Get lost. We're in control. Joker'll finish you off."
"Yeah. I can't believe Batman just left."
"Yeah, the stinking coward limped off, cape between his legs. If he'd tried to come through, I'd take him on. He wouldn't stand a chance."
"Yeah. Yeah, me too. I'd rip his head off and give it to Joker for paperweight."
"Always sucking up to the boss."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"You heard me."

Cells Access[]

Is he dead?
I think so.
When did he die?
Probably when you shot him.
That'll do it. You hungry?
I need some belch cola.
Starved.
It's the Bat!

Broadcasts to Henchmen (Calm)[]

"Listen to me. Batman's down there with you. He must not get to that control room. Do you understand?!"
That's what I like to see, boys. Not scared of the big bad Bat.

KO'd Henchman[]

You may wanna do a quick head count.'
Are you blind?! Look down on the ground. There's something down there and I don't like it.
BABOOM! Another one bites the dust.

Progress of Henchmen[]

Are you worried? I am. I think I spilled some soup down my best suit. It'll never come out. Oh, but I guess you're more worried about the Big Bad Bat. Probably wise.

Patrolling (Calm)[]

Batman's as good as dead.
Yeah. Give us orders and then sit in your nice safe room while we fight Batman. Nice...
'Why are we beefin' up security here again?
Joker wants this building free of the Bat. We've sealed off the door. No way in or out.

Patrolling (Nervous)[]

Huh?
"What?"
"What the?"
Batman? Can you hear me? Show yourself!
You heard Joker!

Patrolling (Terrified)[]

Oh God, no. We've got another one down over here!

Joker[]

Oh, I'd like to thank my fans for their undying support, and the people of Gotham, who I will be seeing very soon.
I salute my fallen enemy.
Oh. Isn't that cute. Little Bat's a-sleepin'. Someone finsh him off.
That loser didn't stand a chance. I mean, look at me.
Gotta say. I thought you'd last longer.
Hey, someone help Bat-baby up off the floor.

Harley Quinn[]

Loser, Loser, Loser!
Bye bye, Bats!

Bane[]

The Bat is broken!
Once again I have defeated you, Batman!

Killer Croc[]

I will enjoy feasting on your bones.
Tick, tock. Feed the Croc.

Scarecrow[]

And at the end of fear, oblivion.
You've failed, now suffer.
Now madness takes you, forever.

Poison Ivy[]

You're dead and buried, darling.
Sorry, love, you're plucked.

Titan Joker[]

Tonight, Gotham, I have defeated your dear Dark Knight. Don't be sad. You're next.
One down. Who's next to party with me?!
Who else wants to get crazy?!

Aaron Cash (when playing Joker)[]

I'm gonna enjoy teaching you some manners, Joker. Get him back to his cell.

Batman (when playing Joker)[]

You'll never beat me, Joker, I won't let you win.
'You'll never win, Joker. I'll always be here to stop you.